In love and death
by kilala27
Summary: Hiei finally found happiness, only to have it taken from him. He may never recover, but someone hasn't given up hope. Some language. Italics what Hiei hears. Bold what Hiei thinks. I tried not to make it confusing. I hope you like it!
1. Chapter 1

IGot another one for you doctor.  
>Alright, bring him in. Oh my, he looks bad. Where did he come from? We found him out in a field a little ways north. It's a wonder we saw him what with this blizzard we're having.I

BNo, this can't be happening!  
>How the hell did they find me! I hid myself against these stupid humans!<br>Dammit, I've gotta get out of here!/B

The doctor began examining the patient before him. It was a young man, exceptionally short and of muscular build, though it appeared to be deteriorating. His raven hair was spiked up, his skin was ghostly under the bright lights in the exam room. He was dressed in all black, his clothes throughly soaked from the storm.  
>The doctors eyes swept him over several times, thinking nothing of the white headband that covered his forehead, so that when he tried to remove it and nearly had his hand burned off he was a bit confused, especially since the man was still unconcious and hadn't so much as twitched a finger since he arrived. Instantly, he knew something was off about this man. Something strange, and probably bad. Something he didn't want to deal with. And he knew exactly where he would put him, so that he didn't have to.<p>

He felt himself being lifted and carried down a hallway by the ones who brought him in. He could have protested. Hell, he could have killed them in an instant. But he just didn't have the drive.  
>When Mukuro had been killed, something inside of him had snapped. For so long, his whole life almost, he had been shunned, the forbidden child. His heart became ice cold like the village he was born in and cast out from. He only knew of hatred and killing, emotions were not something he wasted his time with. Until she came along.<br>It wasn't the first time he'd met her, or worked alongside her for that matter. But she was able to do something no one else had ever dreamed of. She slowly broke down the walls he hid behind for all those years. She'd watched him turn soft, begin to feel, even fall in love maybe. That's what she hoped was happening, and he never had denied it. In fact, they had decided to formally mate, to be bonded to each other. He was okay with this. He even felt happy, or at least that's what he percived it as. It was the day before the 'ceremony' they were having. He could remember it so clearly...

It was a beautiful afternoon, though now the weather was always perfect. No reason for a storm.  
>"Mukuro, I'm going out for a bit, I'll be back before sundown."<br>"Sure. Where are you going?"  
>"The top of the mountian, I feel like working out with my sword." I had smiled. There was no need for my katana now, but it was still something that gave me great pleasure, something I enjoyed, now that I actually did enjoy things other than murder. Mukuro had simply smirked and said, "Don't be late. I'll make your favorite for dinner."<br>I never imagined those would be the last words she ever spoke to me..

When I got back, I knew something was very wrong. It was dark in our house, and much too cold. She always kept it warm. I didn't want to believe it, wouldn't allow my mind to concieve it, but I think I knew at that moment what had happened. Despite this, the sight that greeted me when I walked into our room was no less horrifying to me. Her body was broken and mangled, bloody and bruised on her left side, frayed wires and smoke coming from her right. Her eyes, her beautiful eyes, always so warm, were wide open and blank, her face contorted in agony. but this was not what disturbed me the most, not at all. What really torn me up, the thing that destroyed any sanity or happiness I had gained, was seeing the shackles around her wrists and ankles, binding her together, imprisoning her, sealing her fate. I am going to slaughter that fucking bastard.  
>I didn't react to this as most would; no crying or screaming. I just stood there, staring at the wall behind her. When I grew weary of that, I fell to the ground,<br>and lay there. Days passed like this and no one found us, until Enma came. He did scream, and he called the best healers in all of the Makai, and told them to get there quickly. I guess I could have told them it was too late, that there was no point, but I couldn't find my voice. I couldn't find anything. I didn't exist anymore, I was nothing. Enma tried to rouse me, shaking me and screaming my name. He gave up after a few minutes, probably assuming I was dead. I was vaugely aware of movement around me, of voices, of cries of pain. I recognized Yomi's, heard his cursing. I could tell there were alot of people there, and that no one was really paying me any mind. I was never important, the forbidden child. Slowly people began to leave, until only two remained. This time I heard every word clearly though I wished I hadn't.  
>"We should take her body and bury it beside the sacred stream, she'd like that."<br>"Right, we'll have to hold a beautiful ceremony for her. That's how she would have wanted it."  
>"What about him? Wasn't he her mate?" For some reason that really hit a nerve, and a painful one at that. I was instantly in agony, yet still paralyzed, unable to move or speak. I could almost hear the other man shaking his head sadly as they lifted my beloved's body and carried her away, taking her from me forever. "There's nothing we can do. His ki is completely gone. Chances are he'll die here, and soon. At least they can be together in death."<br> 


	2. Chapter 2

My eyes shot open and I was blinded for a moment by white flourecsent light. When I got my sight back I tried to sit up, only to find my arms and legs were tied down and I couldn't move. This absolutely infuriated me, and I gave a low warning growl to the man who was on my right, his back to me, calmly writing on a clipboard. He turned to face me, looking as relaxed as if he was enjoying a Sunday afternoon stroll through the park. Did he have any idea who he was dealing with?  
>"Well, I see your awake." He said plesantly. I just glared at him in response, seething. My mind began to comprehend the idea of jumping off this table and slitting his throat, and my lips curled into a malicious grin. The man simply chuckled, further enraging me. "Oh you can say whatever you want, Jaganshi, but I know you won't do anything. These bonds are strong, and you have no willpower to break them, so you can't escape." I stopped breathing. How the hell did he know my name?<br>"Now I've brought you here to try and help you. Why don't you tell me what happened to you?" I stared at him in desbelief. He captures me and restrains me, then expects me to talk to him? Stupid bastard didn't know who he was dealing with. Despite my fury, it felt wrong somehow. It was only on the surface. Yes, thats it.  
>I wasn't really feeling it, it was just the way I knew I was suppose to react, so I did. But inside I just felt the same numbness. The doctor too my blank stare as a confirmation of what he had said and nodded. "See, things are so much easier if you just cooperate. Now then, are you ready to talk to me?" Again I just glared. I didn't care if he had me tied to a table, he sure as hell wasn't going to force me to do anything. "Hmm, well since your not responding I guess there's nothing I can do right now. Last chance, are you sure you want to be so stubborn?" He sounded quite calm, the man must have endless patience. I didn't like it, so I leaned my head up a bit and spit in his face.<br>"My my, someone is rather fiesty," again with the calmness; whay can't I piss the asshole off? "I think you need some quiet time." The doctor clapped his hands and the same two men that had found me last time grabbed my wrists and ankles and lifted me easily, setting me on my feet and guiding me into a long corridor. The door we passed was labeled 'F ward'. Of course I had no clue what that meant. As they carried me past rows of empty cells, I realized hoe eerily quiet it was. I imagined in a place like this there would be lots of crying and screaming, but there was nothing. They reached the end and one of them pulled out a ring of keys, easily locating the right one and jamming it in the lock on the cell in front of us. The door appeared to be solid metal save for the small window near the top, which was covered by metal bars. He peered inside just before they shoved him in and shut the door, leaving without a word. He studied his surroundings with little intrest: The walls were an off white and made of some kind of soft material, maybe foam. There were two small beds on either side of the wall, a small bathroom, and several shelves and cabinets,  
>for people to keep their belongings in he supposed. He realized he had nothing but the clothes on his back as his katana had been confiscated. He felt a small twinge of pain, again only on the surface. No emotion touched him deeply anymore. He slumped against the wall and stared blankly at the floor. Maybe he would just stay there for the rest of his life, maybe eventually they would leave him alone so he could just wither away and die. He wasn't sure why he stayed alive up until now. Hours after Mukuro had been taken, he somehow willed himself to get up and leave the room, then the house, then the whole village. He had set off, wandering aimlessly around the makai, never with any destination in mind, just going constantly without stopping. There was only one thing he took with him, and it became his best friend and constant companion. In the back of his mind, he knew what happened to her was his fault. He left her alone, unprotected. Of course, Mukuro could handle herself, there was no doubt about t that. She was arguably the strongest demon in all the world, despite the fact that Enki had won against her in the tournament. As it was said, however, she had fought that battle with only half her usual strength, and there was a reason for that; Hiei.<br>"Something has changed in her, can you sense it?"  
>"Yes, she seems..happy. But not just happy, she's...content. I think that's the word."<br>"She doesn't seem interested in battle anymore."  
>"Yes, love can do that to a person."<br>At first, everyone had gawked. Mukuro, in love? No way she could be. But then, the small fire demon she had made her second in command seemed to become something more. They were together at all times, and were even living together. Weird as it was, most came to accept it and then to ignore it. Hiei let out a strangled cry and bashed his fist into the door, the sound echoing off the walls. "Fuck! Why the hell did this happen?" He suddenly felt so drained,  
>so empty, that he could do nothing more than slide to the ground in a heap. But there was something that always helped. Earlier, something was mentioned to be Hiei's best friend, and sure, the guards had taken most of them, but there was one he had hidden well. He stumbled to the sink and pushed his fingers roughly down his throat,<br>causing himself to vomit. Though his stomach was nearly empty and there wasn't much to extract, he did get what he wanted. A small object wrapped in bandages like the ones that covered his arms landed in the sink with a thud. He eagerly tore them away, like a child opening a christmas gift, to reveal a small steel razorblade.  
>This was the only time he ever felt alive.<br>He quickly untied the bandaging on his right arm and set to work, dragging the cold metal up and down until his arm was merely a gory swath. Statisfied, he wrapped it back up tightly, savoring the burning pain. It brought relief, gave him something to focus on. He had always enjoyed fighting, even the wounds he would recive.  
>Of course he hadn't battled anyone in over a year now, but this always brought back some of those feelings, feelings that made him feel almost hopeful that there was still something to live for.<br>He lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to let his mind become numb so he could sleep. Of course, that would be when the nightmares would start, but that didn't hurt as much as reality.  
>Tonight was especially hard, because he realized why he had stayed alive, wandering around demon world aimlessly. He stayed because if he stopped searching, if he gave up, the only thing he could do is accept that she's gone. And that he could not face.<p> <p>


End file.
